Dionne Warwick I'll Never Fall In Love Again 1970 Top 10 Hit

You gotta have friends

God is full of surprises. I made a phone call to a complete stranger, at the recommendation of a friend of mine. I thought the conversation would be brief, but it turned into a marathon; I have never spent so much time in one phone conversation! We clicked, and I have a new friend, which is good because I need all the friends I can get. Of course, some friends are closer than others, and this friend has become very close in a very short amount of time.

I have said it over and over, the journey is not meant to be taken alone; we all need companions as we experience what God has for us. I'm thankful for the new friends I have made over the past two years, and for those who have been there for me in the years before that. Although I sometimes feel alone, when all is said and done, I never am alone; God is with me, and so are my friends here on earth, whom I can taste, touch, see and hear, and smell (but only on rare occasions.)

I truly am fortunate.

Peace,
Chuck

Flooded

It's flooding in Milford and schools are closing early today because of it; some of the streets are impassable -- you can't even go downtown! Sometimes I feel like I am flooded and shut down as well. Freedom comes at such a price, and before I am free, I will find the price is even higher. Right now the task before me looms large and seems bigger than I am able to cope with. But I draw strength from my God and my friends. And I am blessed to have made a new friend, at least by phone, last night. The journey to freedom is to be shared, and I hope to share my journey, my struggles and my joys with another human being and I pray God will give me that person soon, if God hasn't already done so.

it's too late - carole king

Carole King - Tapestry

Happy Cinco de Mayo

This is NOT the Independence Day of Mexico, but the day in which the Mexican army defeated the French in battle. It's a day for all oppressed people to celebrate standing up to their oppressors. Think of the American Revolution. Think of the Stonewall riots. We must fight our own personal battles as we struggle to be free. The journey to freedom is not easy, but it's not one to be taken alone, either. Together we can choose to live in freedom, refusing the shackles that others have placed upon us, and ridding ourselves of the chains we have put on ourselves. It's worth the price we pay. I am reminded of the slogan on New Hampshire license plates: Live free or die!
Beckett

Personally

As I consider my journey to freedom so close to the fortieth anniversary of the death of Martin Luther King, Jr., I ask myself if I am working only for my own personal freedom or for the freedom of others as well. Those who know me, understand that I write things which can only be fully understood by knowing who I am in my totality. Disclosing myself completely is not something which I can do on this blog, but I can do it on a one to one basis with trusted friends; who indeed reveals of themselves in a forum such as this? I can help others break the chains of fundamentalism on this blog, but I seek a freedom that goes beyond that -- the freedom to speak my truth without fear of incurring the wrath of my superiors. The day may come when I dare to infuriate them with my own personal truth, but that day is not today; it is for a tomorrow which I hope will not take another forty years to come. I love my God, and my God loves me, but there are those who would deny that truth. And I am well aware that I must speak the truth in love; it is perhaps the most important thing I can do for those who agree with me, and for those who vehemently and violently disagree. I cannot be free so long as any of my sisters or brothers is imprisoned, not by chains, nor by iron bars in a cell, but imprisoned by the god of fundamentalism, the god of hate, I choose to serve the God of love, the God of freedom, the God of Jesus of Nazareth.

God's Love is For All -- Me Included

I caused my parents a lot of trouble, I suppose. Again and again they told me that if others saw me at home, they wouldn't like me so much. Looking back at my childhood, I don't think I was that bad of a kid. Not an angel, but not really bad. I don't think I've ever said anything so hurtful to my own children. My parents, though, added to my low self-esteem, as did the Bible, the Word of God. God told me how bad I was, so then I had to agree with my parents, no one would like me if they really knew me.

I'm 50 years old now, and I know better. I know God is love, and that God's love is great enough to extend to me. I know that people can and do like/love me for who I am, even when they know things about me that I tend to keep hidden. So God's love extends to you, whoever you are reading this.

On my journey to freedom, I know God is right beside me, every step of the way.

Chuck

Judy Garland - Somewhere Over The Rainbow

When life is too mcuh for me, I might pray or read the Scriptures. Or I might simply listen to Judy Garland sing "Over the Rainbow." This is argualbly her best rendition of her signature song.

Blowin' in the wind

"How many deaths will it take till he knows that too many people have died?" Those lyrics were meant to refer to the deaths in the Viet Nam war, and perhaps in all wars -- so I was told, anyway. But on the Journey to Freedom for my gay lesbian brothers and sisters, too many have died -- by their own hand, and by the hands of those whose minds have been filled with hate from those who claim to speak in the name of Jesus.

Jesus, the Prince of Peace, who never turned away anyone who wanted to follow him (though he made no bones in telling folk what that meant), weeps at these needless deaths. My Journey to Freedom will be incomplete until all are free. My journey is incomplete until the war against the GLBT community is over.

Chuck

Alone again, naturally

I've said it before and here it is again: The journey is not meant to be taken alone. However, there may be times when it feels like you're alone and friendless in the world, when no one seems to care, when people misunderstand you, or understand you and reject you because of who you are. People disappoint us, acting in ways we don't understand, in ways that don't fit the pattern of what we have come to expect of them. When people don't even treat us with common courtesy or with respect, we can get angry or feel hurt, or both. These reactions are normal. If such people are important to us, we can express our feelings to them, but not in an angry or hurtful way, but in a way that invites continued friendship and dialogue. If these persons aren't important to us, we can choose not to show our anger or hurt, but to go on without them, without getting ugly.

This is easy to write, but much harder to put into practice. I know I don't take disappointment well. I tend to ask myself what's wrong with me, but in fact there's nothing wrong with me. I need friends to travel this road with me. If I have but one friend, that will be enough. The truth is, there are many out there on the journey with me, but I haven't met them yet. And I confess, I want one special friend to share this journey with. But that will have to wait a while.

Chuck

Snow and Hot Chocolate

It's snowing in downtown Milford. I can look out my window and see the clouds rolling past the full moon; it's quite a sight. And I am drinking hot chocolate, just like when I was a little kid, after coming in from making a snowman or having a snowball fight. Ah! to be young again! I can hear the words of Jesus, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14, NLT)

Part of my journey includes going to that place in myself that is still childlike and setting that little boy free, comforting him when he hurts and giving expression to his pain, as well as his joy. I need to LET GO and allow myself to be silly, when the time and place are right; to let go of being so SERIOUS all the time. And I need to trust in God as a child trusts his/her parents.

On the journey to be free,
Chuck

Freedom is Relative

Freedom is relative. In the US, we have freedom of speech, but that doesn't mean we are free to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater when there is no fire. We are free to let others know exactly who we are, but there is a price to pay for that freedom and it may mean the loss of our livelihood. So we don't tell everyone everything about ourselves. And that's the way it is. But it can be different. The more open and honest we are about ourselves, the better off we will be. In terms of mental health, that is. And if more people are more open about who they are, our society as a whole will be much better off. I am working towards being more open about who I am; that's one of the aims of this blog. And sharing my thoughts here has indeed been liberating for me and I hope liberating for others as well.
In the struggle to be free,
Chuck

Thank you GFA

I was at the GFA meeting Thursday night and shared part of journey with the group and rceived a great gift from them, one I didn't expect. Oh, I knew I'd receive support, but when the group gathered around me, laid hands on me and anointed me with oil, I was overwhelmed with emotion. This group was a great comfort to me, and I am so glad to be a part of it, a part of them, and I just had to express my gratitude here. I reiterate, the journey is meant to be shared. It's so good to know I am not alone. Never have been, actually, but the reminder I received that night will go a long way with me as I travel my path.
Peace,
Chuck

Lord Jesus, YOu Shall Be My Song

I heard this hymn for the first time today, and I just had to post it!

Lord Jesus, you shall be my song as I journey;
I'll tell ev'rybody about you wherever I go;
you alone are our life and our peace and our love.
Lord Jesus, you shall be my song as I journey.

Lord Jesus, I'll praise you as long as I journey.
May all of my joy be a faithful reflection of you.
May the earth and the sea nd the sky join my song.
Lord Jesus, I'll praise you as long as I journey.

As long as I live, Jesus, make me your servant,
to carry your cross and to share all your burdens and tears.
For you saved me by giving your body and blood.
As long as Ilive, Jesus, make me your servant.

I fear in the dark and the doubt of my journey;
but courage will come with the sound of your steps by my side.
And with all of the fam'ly yousaved by your love,
we'll sing to your dawn at the end of your journey.

Words translated by Stephen Somerville

Somebody To Love/White Rabbit Jefferson Airplane

OK, so most of the music I listen to has first been sung on Broadway or by people such as Michael Buble and Harry Connick, Jr., and Sam Harris (Thank You, my friend) but Somebody to Love is one of my favorite songs. I don't have to let others put me in a box and think they know all about me! Enjoy!
Chuck

Sam Harris: Over the Rainbow

In Gratitude

I am so thankful to be blessed by friends who love me just as I am, who don't judge me, even when they don't understand why I do something. I am grateful to them, for the shelter they provide me in the storm of my life--they provide umbrellas...or a place for respite from that storm. I cannot imagine my life without them. To have one such friend is a huge blessing, but I have been blessed with several. Among them, I can put aside the shoulds of my life and be who I really am. I am so blessed that I could cry tears of joy right now. When I feel absolutely needy, they remind me of my strength. So I thank God for them. And my prayer for those reading this is that they will have the same sorts of friends that I have. I cannot thank God enough for them. And I cannot thank them enough for their love and support. They know who they are, especially if they are reading this. Thank you.
MUSICAL INTERLUDE: You gotta have friends...Bette Midler
MUSICAL INTERLUDE 2: That's what friends are for...Stevie Wonder et. al.

With love,
Chuck

No Static Cling, Please!

Beginning this blog was an admission that my faith cannot remain static. The Jesus I learned about in second grade is not the same Jesus I believe in today. And the Jesus I believe in today will not be the same Jesus I believe in three years from now. Take note: Jesus does not change, but my understanding of him does. Just as my understanding of God changes. The problem I face is a group of people who are clinging to the Jesus they knew as a seven year old! I am not the same person I was in 1964, so why should my faith be the same as it was 44 years ago? It shouldn't. We should all be growing in our faith, daring to go beyond what our Sunday School teachers and parents taught us so many years ago.

I believe in God who loves me just as I am.
I believe in Jesus Christ who invites all who believe in him to have eternal life.
I believe in the Holy Spirit who speaks to me in many ways.
I believe eternal life has to do with how we live our lives in response to God's love, for eternal life is about an abundant life.
I believe in life after death.
I believe in spiritual realities that are beyond what I can see.
I believe God wants all to know God and love God and one another.
I believe that there is that of God in every person.

Right now, I don't believe in hell, except for the hell we encounter right now.
I don't believe in condemning people because their view of God is diferent from mine.
I don't believe in condemning people because they desire to love those of the same gender and do so.

I do believe that this is enough for this post.
On the journey,
Chuck

Faith Unashamed (music video) -

In Honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.:
If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.
On learning of threats on his life, June 5, 1964

More to come later.

Chuck

Regrets

My father-in-law passed away six years ago today and I miss him terribly, for he was kind, strong, gentle when necessary, but most of the time rather forceful, and a real kidder.

I miss my own parents too; they've been gone for 17 and 13 years. I have things I would have like to have shared with them but never did. I'll always regret not talkingto them about some of the issues that are extremely important to me. My friends told me that those things would kill my mother -- but she died even though she and I never talked about some essential things about my life. I can only wonder how my life might have been different if only I had tried to share my life with my parents in a meaningful way.

The journey is meant to be shared. You don't have to go it alone.

Peace,
Chuck

Loneliness

"Who am I lonely for? God? Myself? Other people?"

OK, I'm holding on tight, closing my eyes, gritting my teeth, ready to see what happens with this new revelation: I am lonely. And I am going to reflect on what I am lonely for. The above quotation comes from a book of meditations that I use daily and it jumped out at me yesterday because I had never considered that I could be lonely for myself.

MUSICAL INTERLUDE: "One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do." -- Three Dog Night

First, I can be lonely in a crowd. That's something which I believe most people can identify with. You're in a theater by yourself, but despite the large group of people sitting around you, you still feel lonely. That can happen sometimes.

I can also feel lonely in a small group of people who are my friends or colleagues; when I disagree with the rest of the group on whatever topic might be at hand, I will feel absolutely isolated. But I can still feel lonely in groups when I agree with everything everyone is saying.
However, in a small group of friends, and one on one, I rarely, if ever, feel lonely.

Next, I do feel lonely for God. Because of my training, because of wrong-headed beliefs taught to me by well-meaning people, I sometimes feel like my very existence is an abomination to God. Don't get me wrong -- I don't spend a lot of time in that space, but from time to time it bubbles up.

I am also lonely for myself. Having lived for others, having put the needs of others before my own, I have lost sight of who I am. I have let others define who I am and I have lost myself in the process. In order to be free, I must reclaim the values which are mine and proclaim them to whoever is willing to listen. Far too often I have been a chameleon, letting people think I agree with their ideas, simply by keeping silent. No more. Now is the time for me to speak what I know is true and let others love me for it, or despise me for it. There will be enough people who will love me for it to have new friends, perhaps even a new family.

Go in peace, for God is with you and God is the source of our Freedom.

Chuck