letting go

I was touched, moved and inspired by this video.

From darkness to light

Someone gave me a parallel Bible today, not two or more English translations, nor Greek/English, nor Hebrew/English, but Spanish and English. It's a great gift, even though I am extremely limited in my Spanish (or because I am). Anyway, I spent some time looking up familiar verses to see how they read in espanol and came across an interesting Spanish idiom. In the Christmas story in Luke 2:7, where it says "she gave birth to her firstborn, a son," the Spanish idiom would literally mean "she gave to light to her firstborn son." What a wonderful image, giving birth meaning giving to the light. A person comes out of the womb, where it is dark, and enters the light. Artists painting their portraits and still life pictures, authors writing their novels and their non-fiction works, pastors crafting their sermons-- are giving birth and their work is brought to light. And hopefully their work sheds light on their subjects. Bringing things to light is like giving birth. Coming out for gay men and lesbians is bringing something to light and something is born. (I hope my gay friends will agree with that.) That's what my journey to freedom is about in one sense, bringing things to light and giving birth to them within myself. Comments on this are welcome!

On the journey, not alone, but with friends who love me,
Chuck

Oliver! - Where Is Love

Goodbye to Daisy

Between 5:30 and 8:30 a.m. this morning my cat died. Although I will miss Daisy, I am glad she died peacefully at home rather than having to go to the vet and be "put to sleep." In her younger years, she would never sit on our laps or let anyone hold her for more than a few seconds. As time went on, she grew to enjoy sitting with us, especially with anyone who had a blanket on their lap, but she never did want to be held too long. Petted, stroked, yes, but held -- not so much. I am a little sad over this loss, but not nearly so grief-stricken as my wife and daughters for whom we got the cat and her sister twelve years ago.

I have a lot of other grieving to do, for the changes in my life which have already happened and for those changes which are in the wind. This kind of grieving will make losing the cat look like a walk in the park. I will be losing friends and gaining others. Some friends will become even closer than they are now; some may choose to distance themselves but not forsake our friendship altogether. So be it. I'm on a journey to freedom, a journey which I feel God is calling me to make.

My heart is heavy, but there is one who can lighten this load. That one is God. May you find God now.

Chuck

Serenity Prayer

I have known the Serenity Prayer since I was a child, but I have never seen it presented in such a magical way.

Radiant, Redolent, Religious and Romantic

Now what on earth could be described by all four of these alliterative words? Why candles, of course. Candles provide light, and that could be described as their main purpose and that the others are secondary to that. But candles are rarely used today solely to give light; they function as lights mainly when the electricity goes out.
DETOUR: When I have lost my way, I have needed a light, a natural light, such as a candle provides, and a supernatural light such as the God of my understanding provides.

In my house, candles are most often burned for their aroma; they come in a wide variety of scents and right now I have one burning which smells like pumpkin pie and I anticipate having one which will smell like pine -- for when I put up the artificial Christmas tree.

Long after candles were needed to read Scripture by, they have remained part of religious ceremonies. In my church, the candles are lighted before the service is properly started. To those present, the candles represent the light of Christ, and the acolyte carries that light into the church at the beginning of the service and carries it into the world at the end.

What made me ponder candles, however, is their use at the World AIDS Day Service. It is so fraught with meaning to light candles to remember someone, in honor of, or as a prayer for someone. And the sight of so many people carrying candles down Rehoboth Avenue to Baltimore Avenue to Epworth UMC was moving beyond words. Seeing so many folks holding candles is like a picture of what heaven is like.

And of course, candles are used to foster romance. Is there anything more romantic than a dinner for two by candlelight? Sigh.

I love candles. They're a great help on the journey.

Chuck

Longing for Intimacy

I am free now to share myself with others, free to withhold information when necessary, and free to disclose myself to whomever I will. On my journey to freedom, I am looking for someone with whom I can be totally honest, with whom I can share my whole self, without fear of rejection or ridicule. Someone with whom I can be totally naked and unashamed.
DETOUR: You won't find any gratuitous nudity on my blog!
I think what I am looking for is intimacy, something which I have wanted, but also feared and run from. Like so many others. [Just when I thought I was unique and special. Damn!] Now I am ready for it!

Because the journey is meant to be shared,
Chuck